In a time when most of our daily communication takes place through screens, it’s easy to forget that behind every message, comment, or tweet is a real person – with feelings, experiences, and vulnerabilities. The speed of the internet, algorithms that feed sensationalism, and the illusion of anonymity often lead us to impulsive reactions, criticism, and sometimes harsh words we’d never say face to face. So, what can we do to make online spaces not only functional but also supportive and safe? In other words, how do we hold onto empathy in this fast-paced world?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In a digital context, it takes on new forms and challenges. Digital empathy involves a conscious effort to recognise the emotions of other internet users and respond with respect, care, and compassion – even when we cannot see, hear, or know them.
In face-to-face communication, we rely on many cues: tone of voice, body language, facial expressions. Online, however, we often depend solely on text, which can be easily misinterpreted. There is also psychological distance, which makes us forget that the person on the other side of the screen has emotions and boundaries.
Psychologist John Suler, in his work on the ‘online disinhibition effect’, explains why people often say things online that they would never say in person – because they feel ‘invisible’ beyond accountability and consequences. That ‘invisibility’ erodes the boundaries of empathy. And that’s precisely why digital empathy has never been more important.
Digital empathy involves:
- Being aware of your words and their impact,
- Listening (or reading) attentively,
- Refraining from impulsive, judgmental comments,
- Expressing disagreement without being offensive.
At its core, digital empathy is a call to be human – even when communicating through pixels and screens.
Why Is Respect on the Internet Under Threat?
Respect in the online world doesn’t disappear by accident. It is often a casualty of how the digital space functions. A combination of psychological, technical, and cultural factors creates an environment where attacking is easier than understanding, and mocking easier than engaging in dialogue.
1. Psychological factors: A sense of anonymity and distance
As described by psychologist John Suler, internet users often experience online disinhibition – the phenomenon where we feel ‘freer’ to say rude or aggressive things because we are not in direct contact with the person we’re addressing. Anonymity and physical distance dissolve emotional restraints.
‘People online don’t feel accountable in the same way as in real life.’ – Mary Aiken, The Cyber Effect
2. Technical factors: Algorithms that reward conflict
Social media is designed to maximise engagement. What generates the most comments, clicks, and shares is usually not compassion, but anger, controversy, and sensationalism. That’s why the ‘loudest’ comments are often the harshest.
You’ll notice that very few people like calm, reasonable comments – but a heated debate with insults? It goes viral in no time.
3. Cultural factors: Normalisation of intolerance
In digital culture (especially among younger users), sarcasm, trolling, and cancel culture are common forms of expression. This creates an atmosphere where empathy is seen as weakness, and respect as ‘boring’.
The result? A world where users are quicker to attack than to understand. We lose nuance, patience, and our humanity.
What can we do?
Now that we covered what is empathy and why it is slowly pushed away from our screens, the logical question is what we, as everyday users, can do to ensure our digital spaces provide enough kindness and support. Our next article will tackle the issue of cultivating digital empathy, so be sure to check it when it’s published.
